The ending of the begining

So, I did it!  I rode all the rounds of the Naked Racing 661 Mini DH series at the Forest of Dean and I'm alive to tell the tale.

However yesterday marked a massive change in me.. so much so that after the race I had to go for a walk on my own to process everything that had happened over the last 2 days.  A little bit of me had died, I felt numb, I even sat on a tree stump and had a little cry.. emotions had over whelmed me.

So here's why

Saturday came, and after picking up Hannah from Hereford we all happily headed to the Forest, we were meeting up with some of the other girls for our normal Saturday practice and banter.  However once we got to the woods nothing felt right for me, I rode Jed down the track and although he felt great I just didn't seem to warm up or relax.  I popped over to corkscrew with a couple of other girls to try and get riding properly which helped, but the new top section on Ski run caused everyone problems.  I was sure I could run down on my feet faster than how I was riding.  Seeing Hannah have a massive off didn't affect me ( I was more concerned about her) but the fact that loads of riders were coming down on this section just made me feel happier at my own incompetence.

Bruised but still smiling 

After Hannah's off we all decided to head down for a bite to eat and a rest, so Darrel led me down the lower section of Ski run, and this is where it all started to changed for me.  I loved it, the blown out techy part of the track felt sooo good, the bike popped and soaked up the rough like nothing I'd ever ridden before, I felt disappointed as the track smoothed out.

After lunch, I had a practice on the 2 jumps at the bottom of the track as I have a massive hangup on the road crossing jumps there following an off a while back.  Once I was happy there I headed back up to the top to again practice this section and try and get my lines.  Each run up top however found me not getting my lines and after a much needed reality check from Steve one of the Malvern guys I changed to a safer easier line, followed by another smile inducing run down the now fun middle section.

My previous time on Ski run was 2:13, so Saturday night I set the target of 2:10 as normal posting it on facebook, although on a harder top section I felt this was realistic given the new bike and better fitness.

Sunday morning was hard work, an early start made earlier as the clocks changed had Darrel, Hannah and I in the van heading back for race day.  On arrival at the race I headed up to the top to practice leaving Darrel to help Hannah at the van.  I did a first run down slowly but hitting my lines, another run down and although painfully slow by comparison I was feeling more composed, so not wanting to knacker myself for the race I followed Lindsay down the whole track, again loving the middle.

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A relaxing and much needed uplift in the bus and some friendly banter with Emma kept me surprisingly calm, and I was the most relaxed I'd ever been at a DH race.  I opted to let Emma have my last place off the start, saying for her to yell at me if she caught me and I'd let her past.. My turn came and as the beeps counted down I was off  it didn't last long as I'd got within 5m of the first Marshall to be red flagged, I stopped and to the bemused face of Emma and the 2 girls running the start I came back.  Emma went off and I got back in to position to start my run.  All to soon the beeps started and off I went, looking for my lines I shouted happily to Simon as I crossed the forestry road and aimed my bike up over the rough and rooty ground, as I crossed the pushup path I was loving the run, the bike was going where I wanted it to and felt in control, I cleared a rooty bit I hate and came round the 2 switch backs aiming up for the tabletop and road crossing, letting the bike go in the dry I was in sight of the finish.. it was over too soon.  As I came round the back of the start tent to hear my time of

2:03...

I was so happy not only had I beat my 2:10 target I had beat it by 7 seconds.  The possibility of a sub 2 minute run was being dangled so temptingly in front of me it would be rude not to try.

Back up the top for run 2, was banter with the ladies then mass of stretching and jumping to wake up tired muscles.. before the beeps started.  I had to find 4 seconds, I had pretty much ruled out finding them on the top bit but as my light went green I left the start tent. Remembering my coaching with Katy I kept looking up and where I wanted to go, every time I braked I cursed myself, as I cleared the top part I yelled at Simon that I couldn't stop to chat :) as I turned into the woods taking the wrong line I found Jed pointing at a load of roots, those 4 seconds sat heavy on my mind and again remembering Katy's training I let the brakes go and looked up, the bike simply rumbled over them, still on the wrong line I dropped down a rocky section turning to the first of the step down bits, trying to stay off the brakes and keep looking up as as I cleared the blown out part I pedalled to make up for the braking letting the bike pop over a small lip before heading back into the woods, again trusting the bike I simply locked on to my markers as then looked for the next one.

Me chasing 4 seconds

Making a mistake as I headed into the first switchback rather than slamming on the brakes I remembered Katys pointers on position and forced my eyes round the bend, moving over the bike and leading my body round with my knee, the bike turned and I swivelled round the next bend, totally laying off the brakes as I headed towards the table top pushing Jed into the berms before the road crossing I was loving the run, it was no longer about survival I was counting the seconds.. when I could I pedalled or pumped and kept my focus on what was in front of me.. as I crossed the finish line all I could think of was had I lost those 4 seconds.  I slammed on the brakes, unclipping my lid to pull it off to hear.. as Cooper called out my time

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1:57

Happy doesn't put into words the feelings that rushed over me..
All the other ladies had great runs, Emma & Hannah knocked an amazing 20s off their first run times. After a quick post race cocktail and chatter we went to enjoy the sun and watch the rest of the racing.  Gradually as I sat in the sun it hit me, I'd surpassed all my expectations and I'd wanted it.  As I'd raced down the track on my final run I'd found focus, I'd been looking for those seconds, I kept a level head, no longer was it a case of getting to the bottom I'd pushed myself and I'd loved it and those 4 seconds didn't stand a chance.

Some things will NEVER change, post race cocktails!

As the tape was being cleared away I put my lid on rolled over the last table top and down the forestry road on Jed, I knew something in me had changed.  That lady who raced DH with the sole aim of safely getting to the bottom had died, she died somewhere up the top of Ski Run at around 1:45pm on the 30th March.  As I rolled along the forestry road on Jed, I stopped and looked back at the scene, people walked past me smiling, some congratulated me, none of them could see the change, even Darrel and all my close DH friends didn't know what had happened.  I needed to be alone to grieve the death and embrace the future..   I pushed up a track and sat on a tree stump, a tear rolled down my face, it wasn't sadness it wasn't joy, it was something else, but it over whelmed me.

So it's now 24 hours after I sat on the tree stump, and I'm so happy.  In hindsight the death of 'Survival DH mode' had been slow, it started last December when I first raced Ski Run, so it was fitting that it died on Ski Run.  Buying Jed and the coaching with Katy were the push it needed.  It's not a sad death, at no point have I felt sad, my attitude to racing hasn't changed my attitude to the race itself did.  So I dedicate my sub 2 minutes run to all my DH friends (including Darrel and yes Ms Katy Curd you too) you have supported me and help me develop and progress, but watch out guys cos I'm coming for ya now :)

My next race is the Pearce Cycles opening round at Hopton 

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Image by Void Media

In a forestry far far away.......

So having wanted this weekend to come quickly (which it didn't, the prior week just had to drag its feet like a reluctant child), when it actually came I had changed my mind. 

In the week I'd made a very rash decision to buy a British Cycling Racing Licence, to go with my new bike and not so reluctant attitude to DH.  OK so in theory, it's a bit of paper with my picture on stuck between to sheets of plastic!  Wrong, it means I just got serious, I'll (hopefully) be collecting points, and if  I ever get my skills up, I'll be able to race in the British Downhill Series. 

The new bike also to me meant I'd be expected to go faster. 

The course had been released as Corkscrew, which to me is one of the least technical tracks, it's not tight or twisty and the bottom has limited lines, it's just rough and rooty. I also thought it was the best track for my first race on the Jedi, I wasn't used to him and being unsure of how he handles a point and go track was in my favour. 

So I was up the top of Corkscrew on my lovely shiney new (to me) Canfield Brothers Jedi, ready to roll down for the first time.  And it went fine on the top section, I was feeling comfortable on the bike, and even starting to lay of the brakes a bit.  So after a few runs down to the road getting my lines sorted , we decided to go for lunch, as the bottom half of the track was still busy I opted to roll down another DH track which I enjoyed and relaxed on the bike a bit more.  

We had a relaxed lunch break and as riders started to thin out, we made our way back up to practice the lower rougher section.  Pushing all the way to the top to warm up our muscles, as I rolled down I was just filled with dread at the thought of the rooty lower half, I really don't know why, I can ride it all.  As I started the root steps down to the forestry road I unbalanced on my bike as my muscles tensed.  As I crossed the road I slammed on the brakes... I just couldn't do the roll into the lower section.  No reason, other than my own stupidity... 

I pulled over off the track and sat with the other riders watching them filter off to the lower section.  One of the best things about DH is people help each other, no-one laughed or criticized my stupidity, and Ami and Rachael even offered to ride with me sandwiched in the middle to help me down.  Forest of Dean guru Ieuan (4 seconds behind Danny Hart) Williams offered to lead me down, even offering to go slowly.  I had a hissy fit at my own idiocy, the numbers dwindled and I calmed.  Ieuan got ready to start and knowing I'd have a clean track in front of me I nipped in behind him with Darrel on my heels.. I honestly don't know what I panicked about, the Jedi was brilliant, absorbing all the bumps and despite my tense and bad riding didn't send me unceremoniously sprawling across the mud.  After getting to the bottom, I actually wanted to ride it again, this time not so tense, so I pushed up and rolled down, working on looking up, not at roots, and getting used to how the Jedi acts on the rough.  After a few runs I was even getting my lines naturally.  As it was now 4pm, and I did need energy for the race tomorrow we decided to head home.  

Nick Morris (AKA twiglet) posing in the car park

Sunday 5:30am came way too soon, and despite a good nights sleep, I woke up with a massive feeling of dread.  I loaded the dishwasher with last nights dishes and even made Darrel a mug of real coffee (grinding beans etc..) to try and find some solace in mundane tasks.  It wasn't working, I felt sick and just full of impending doom.  All the kit was loaded in the van so it was just a case of picking up the items like my knee pads and SPD shoes that I had worn home last night.  I put my knee pads on to make sure I didn't forget them and my SPD were next to my trainers by the door.  As we drove down the road, the horrible feeling that something was going to go wrong got worse.  We approached Crickhowell (approx 1/2 way) it clicked.  I'd not put my SPD shoes in the van, we pulled into a lay-by and a check revealed me to be correct. It was too late and too far to go back home, I was going to have to ride flats, which I've never done, like ever.  I took up MTB'ing on SPD's, and being clipped in is 2nd nature to me and stops me doing stupid things. Oddly I relaxed, that feeling of impending doom melted away, I was annoyed at my stupidity, but all I could think is I knew something was going to go wrong and forgetting my shoes was not as bad as slamming into a tree flatout :-) 

Jed, number board on and ready to race

As we waited for the bike shop to open, Darrel decided, if they had a pair of nice SPD's in my size he'd get them for me, and take the cleats out of his.  So after my normal 2 visits to the ladies, I was walking alongside Darrel, who kindly pushed Jed, up the hill to the start in a nice new pair of 661 SPD shoes, to go with my new bike.  I wasn't expecting my first run down to go well, normally it doesn't so as I rolled down the top section to warm up I was please to hit my lines and feel relaxed.  After a couple of runs on the top half, I was feeling happy so with a cheer to Simon the road crossing marshal I darted into the lower section, feeling confident on the Jedi as he gripped to the churned up mud.  As I went down I failed to notice that one of the roots had hollowed out the other side more, as I popped over it, the bike washed out to the side, rather than recover I let the bike slip off the track, so I could have a look at where I'd gone wrong and let 2 faster riders have a clear run.  It was a simple fix, I'd normally dropped to the left to land on the flatter part of the track, but this had worn and now the root needed to be taken more to the right.  Happy and confident that Jed and I could do this I continued down, getting my lines and feeling happy.  I was made even more chuffed when a random guy came over and said I was looking a lot more relaxed on the new bike today, and starting to let it do it's job... With a massive grin on my face I pushed Jed up to the start.  

Now, I'm not going to say I'm not nervous, but I'm not going to bore you with it either.  Starting a DH race will never be easy, I'm sure even the pros would agree this.  But it's a fact of life that you got to start to race to race.  So once again I was on a start mound waiting for the beeps to drop.  Then I was off, I stuffed up my start, changing down a gear instead of up, annoyed with myself I looked ahead to find my line to the right onto the table top, letting the bike go in the air this was quickly followed by root, corner, brake, jump, braking bumps, root corner jump it all seemed to speed by, I cheered to Darrel and Simon as I over braked off the forestry road, still no 100% trusting Jed, as I hit the roots, concentrating on the one I needed to stick left on, as I dropped over it the bike stayed on track, hitting my lines over the other roots and over the corner, I could hear the commentator calling my name as I was on the short home straight.  Pedalling across the finish line, my heart was thumping so loudly I didn't catch my time.  I was just happy, the bike was amazing and I was down in 1 piece.  Nick came over to ask me what time I'd wanted to beat, 1:50 had been my previous, Nick informed me I'd done a 1:46, on such a short track 4 seconds was great, new bike, less grippy track it's hadn't been in my favour to beat last years time. Darrel came down with some food and we sat relaxing watching the guys come down.  

Me and Jed on our first ever race run together

Relaxing in between race runs

1:30pm and I was back at the top, yet again waiting for the beeps.  I'd put in a great first run, so no pressure on this run as I heard the start I was off, this time I know I was faster on the top section, everything felt smooth and comfortable as I headed down the track, I over braked on the large root drop I needed to keep left over and off balanced myself, as I headed down I missed a marker, and instead of going on the line I'd been practising I found myself on a middle line into the largest of root drops, I didn't mean too, however I must of cursed myself out loud 'S*$t I'm on the wrong line' in reply I hear a guy yell back 'don't worry just keep going your doing fine' so I did, dropping off the roots I pedalled to try and make up the lost time, hitting my line and letting the bike head down I knew I was going slowly and let off the brakes, making the turn onto the now very slippy finish straight pedalling again as I crossed the line, I was so happy.  1 second off my first race run time, it doesn't sound much but to me it was.  

It's no all about the racing :)

We stayed to watch the rest of the race and enjoy the atmosphere. 

So my review of the weekend and why I got so stupidly nervous.  

A) New Bike, I'd only really had 1 proper days riding on him and that was with the too soft forks.  I didn't know how he behaved on different terrain and with the new spring in the forks he again acted totally differently. I didn't know where the bikes strengths are, or weaknesses.  Also Granddad has been part of my identity, know one was ever going to take me seriously on a 15 year old bike.. Now I'm on a bike that says I mean business... 

B) Putting pressure on myself.  I now had a really good new bike and a racing licence, so I should be fast and competitive 

What I've learned is: 

The Jedi is an amazing bike that I'm going to have a great time on, it's way more competent that I gave it credit for and I love it.  

Having a racing licence means nothing, other than I have a number after my name on entries and might gain some points.

Racing DH is one of the best sports ever, and I really love it.

So my exciting life doesn't stop here, I've got 4 days to recover then the bit I'm really scared about.  I've got a training session on Friday with World 4x Protour Champion, DH rider and Haribo lover Katy Curd.     

Massive thanks to Loeka for my lovely kit, Fix Distribution for supporting me and getting me and Jed together.  Everyone at Naked Racing for putting on such an excellent event and to all the riders and spectators who made the weekend so great.  Special thanks to Darrel for not racing to support me on my new bike and for buying me some lovely new SPD's

Grateful thanks to Mark @ Photo-bike.com for supplying me with these images from Sunday. Gotta love my facial expression on the bottom one :)  

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Image supplied by Scott Kendall